Collaborating

I'm going to use my blog to vent just because this is something I continue to struggle with even as a senior in college. Working in group or team projects for class or work was never anything I looked forward to. I disliked having to work with people I didn't know because I wasn't familiar with their work ethics or how responsible they could be. I am used to completing tasks on my own because I know how I would like things to be done and there is a significantly lower chance of error since I'm able to monitor the work being completed. Of course, as a business major, one of the few skills that are in high demand not only for academics, but in the field are presenting and team activities. Presenting is a topic for a different day, but I want to focus on team projects.

So, what is it about working in groups that turn people away? Isn't there power in numbers? Or does quality overcome quantity? I remember something one of my professors told me last semester in my leadership course; she was distinguishing the differences between what constitutes a group and what constitutes a team. What is comes down to is groups are people working individually, but for the same overall cause or outcome. For instance, have a class project and assigning people different tasks and once those materials are completed just putting all of it together without any proper planning or debriefing. A team is a group of people working together, collaborating and sharing ideas - each person is involved with creating the end result.

If you want to have success in your group, strive for a team dynamic because it will lead to a greater chance of efficiency. Sometimes it can be difficult because you find that people are become less reliable for things or are performing at the level that you would like, but you have to function as a unit. Work in a manner that maximizes everyone's potential. Take advantage of strengths and be conscious of weaknesses.

Sick and Tired

Sick and Tired....

I am sick and tired of living in a society where my opinion rarely matters

I am sick and tired of constantly having to live on a campus where I have to stand up for the minorities because their voices are rarely heard

I am  sick and tired of living a society where the minority groups are always targeted

I am sick and sick of living in a society where there are always complaints and not enough appreciation for what is being done

I am sick and tired of dealing with being racially profiled day to day by those that do not know me

I am sick and tired of having battles with my self esteem, because I do not fit that perfect "Image"

I am sick and tired of constantly having to prove myself, due to the the discrimination of my skin color and gender.

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired, but the battle never stops....

Change has happened, because somewhere down the line, someone was tired of dealing with their day to day battles and saw the need for a change to be made. I may be sick and tired of everything I go through day to day, but instead of allowing it to defeat me, I use it to energize me to fight for what I want. I use my daily struggles to remind me of my goals and aspirations. When I am faced with obstacles, I remind myself that someone before me were faced with the same, if not worst, obstacles. I choose to be resilient. I choose to learn from my past and learn from my struggles to make me better. It is not an easy job to be a difference maker, but it is a great feeling to see you goals and vision play out the way you want them to. 

Be better than you were yesterday and plan to be better than tomorrow. The struggle never stops, just keep fighting. It will all be worth it in the end. BE THE CHANGE. 

Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone

 Oh man, this is a phrase that can be pretty terrifying. Why should we have to step away from the stuff we're happy with? Scary new things are clearly not for me. I mean, Garfield never had to leave his snacks, right? Why should I have to try to leave my everyday routine?

 Plus we only hear it in situations like corporate team building exercises, and "feel good" videos; so how seriously could we take it? "Step out of our comfort zones"? Really, that is some out-there hippie speak, right? Silly Hippies, get back to your tie-dying and other hippie stuff.

So OBVIOUSLY "stepping out of our comfort zones" is so some goofy idealist instruction we should just forget about, right?

WRONG.

I'm sorry to have mislead you up until this point, loving reader, but I just had to make sure we were so far into this article that you couldn't turn back. Like every horror movie ever, you've gotten too far into the woods and you don't have enough gas to turn around. Now i'm gonna murder you with an ax of self-growth! 
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Well now your old-"afraid to try new things"-self is dead (I'm currently burying it, bee-tee-dubs), and we're gonna talk about why you HAVE to try stepping out of your comfort zone. 

We as people aren't meant to be static characters, we're meant to be dynamic ones. While I'm using some literary terms here, what it really means is that we're meant to change and grow. Everyday we change a little bit, and we're not the same exact person that got into bed last night. The experiences we go through, even the tiny ones, help us grow into (hopefully) better people everyday. We're constantly improving and evolving, changing and adapting to the world around us.

(Sadly, your evolution probably doesn't look this freakin' METAL)

For that reason, stepping out of our comfort zones is INTEGRAL to our positive self-growth. We have to try new and sometimes even scary things so we can garner those new experiences. For example, taking that intimidating trip to a country across sea may lead you to discover a passion in foreign cuisine, or maybe even a whole new language you'd like to learn. Every time we try that "scary new thing", we're allowing ourselves to step into a whole new world of experiences; and with that, a whole new set of ways to grow as a person. Maybe one day you finally sing at karaoke bar, despite your previous fear of getting on stage, and end up meeting the person of your dreams. If we never break our everyday rut of "safe" repetitive activities, we'll never get a real chance at that evolution I had mentioned. 

Will you turn into a hardcore death metal dragon like that last gif? No, probably not, but you might just turn into a deeper, more complex person. 

That's right, deeper AND complex, like that one really cool person you knew in high school. 

(Yeah, THAT guy...)

So seriously, get out there, and try a whole bunch of new things. Whether it's something small, like trying a new flavor of ice cream, or something big and scary, like taking the chance to go sky diving, DO IT. Every time you step out of the comfort zone, you're racking up a new experience under your belt; and with that you improve as a person. Maybe you'll find a new hobby, someone or something you love, or possibly even nothing at all; But no matter what your new encounter brings, you've grown as a person.

SO REMEMBER:

Less of this:

More of this:

Have fun!!!!

Live Journal: The Red Pill Perspective

Anyone who knows me knows that my all-time favorite film is The Matrix. And anyone who has ever watched it knows the scene where Neo, the main character, is offered a choice between the now-iconic red pill and blue pill. The blue pill would allow him to remain blissfully ignorant in the Matrix's illusion of reality, while the red pill would lead to his escape and give him access to the painful reality of the real world.

"You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes."

―Morpheus to Neo, The Matrix

The significance of that scene has ultimately come to define my life and love for social justice. Why? Because I have chosen the metaphorical red pill.

I often imagine that activists and social justice advocates have taken the red pill, choosing to "free their minds" from the social coercion that structures and dominates our lives. Analysts and free-thinkers like us feel like we've found a path to freedom, deconstructing everything that might help us understand humanity and the human condition a little better. This is the the red pill perspective—seeking the truth, no matter how gritty and painful it may be.

Always observant, my attention to detail has encouraged me to pursue journalism and has helped to sharpen my feminist lens; but it's that same level of awareness that so often causes my distress. 

My awareness of institutional racism, sexism, classism, heterosexism and privilege among other issues at both macro and micro levels has opened my eyes to the illusion of our so-called "progressive" society. And once you're socially aware, there is no going back. You can't "unsee" and "unknow" the ugly truths. I see the repercussions of social inequality and watch functionalism work in favor of the white, heterosexist majority every single day.

I wish I could just flip the switch and shut it off sometimes, but I can't.

The fight for equity will never end and my agenda for social change will never shrink—a struggle that activists and feminists know all too well—but being socially aware is a powerful and fulfilling feeling that is unique to individuals who constantly absorb the world's issues at large. I'd choose enlightenment over oblivion any day. My mind has been freed and there is no going back, there's just moving forward from here.

Until next time,

xoxo

Green Dot Bingo Night; Educating By Standers

-->

My first event as a program coordinator for the Women’s Center was last night. Green Dot Bingo was a way to inform students about the Green Dot initiative in a fun and innovative way. Green Dot is a nonprofit that works to eradicate power-based interpersonal violence.  The organization defines power-based interpersonal violence as partner violence‚ sexual violence, stalking, bullying, child abuse, or elder abuse . It isn’t gendered or hetero-normative. Interpersonal violence can happen in a plethora of different situations with each gender playing a different role. Green Dot works on educating and reducing the occurrence of these situations. How? Green Dot focuses on emphasizing the importance of bystanders in preventing and intervening during red dots (warning situations).
Bystanders have a civic responsibility to others. As citizens, we must make sure we don’t encourage inter-personal violence by simply allowing it without interfering.  Green Dot Bingo night substituted numbers in original Bingo games with scenarios in which bystanders can help advance the Green Dot Mission. For example, a scenario might be “ Create a buddy system at night and make sure all your friends get home safe.” I was extremely excited to make such an important issue a fun activity.  I look forward to being able to run more events that target important societal issues in an enjoyable manner.

Ramapo's Greeks want to know who's the fairest of them all?

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all? That seems to be the burning question for the different fraternities and sororities on campus. Several Greek organizations are holding pageant-styled events to raise money for their philanthropies.  Some of the different events include:

• Sigma GQ-Sigma Sigma Sigma
• AEcutiePie-Alpha Epsilon Pi
• Miss Ramapo- Sigma Delta Tau
• Zeta Beta Babe- Zeta Beta Tau
• Depheer Dude- Delta Phi Epsilon
• Pi Kappa Cutie- Pi Kappa Alpha

Some of these events are brand new, and others are annual. Both fraternities and sororities are equal perpetrators, as evident from the list provided above. In many ways, these events are extremely positive. They are great sources of revenue for the fraternities and sororities to use to give back to their philanthropies and ultimately the community. On the other hand, the idea of pageants does not sit well with all people. Pageants are often very superficial contests that at some points go past the edge of competition to objectification of its contestants. 

Students have posed the question, are these events truly reflective of what these organizations are about/have to offer? With all of the negative connotation and critical analyses of these types of functions, many have come to question why these events are still being held. The answer may be as simple as: it gets the Ramapo campus to turn out and donate some money to an awesome cause! However, should that be enough of a reason?

Greek organizations dedicate themselves to different values, tenets, and missions that they are supposed to embody in everything that they do. Even with the relative success of these events, is that still enough for the organizations to still put them on? Do these events truly fit into the missions of these different organizations? Honestly, this a question for the organizations themselves, because only they can truly decide what fits into their mission. What do you think?

Productive Ways to Handle Stress and Anxiety

It's that time of year again- it's cold and dark outside, midterms are quickly approaching, and it feels as though stress and anxiety are taking over. Even with spring break just around the corner, it's getting harder and harder to get out of bed each morning and I can't wait until the warm weather comes back. However, even when days seem daunting and I'm not sure if my anxiety will ever go away, there are little things that can help to make the day better!

Watch a funny movie or TV show on Netflix. Take a time out from whatever your stressors are and watch something mindless that you know will make you laugh. (One of my personal favorites is The Office!) Ask your friends and roommates to join you as well- laughter is the best medicine!

Take a shower. Sometimes when stress and anxiety take over, personal hygiene becomes less of a priority. Even when you don't want to get out of bed and the thought of a shower seems overwhelming, force yourself. Take a long hot shower and remember how important self care is. It's refreshing and can really help to clear your mind.

Organize something. Go through your drawers, cabinets, and closets. Rearrange your furniture. Clean up a little and add some new decorations. Hang an inspiring quote on the wall. Organizing is therapeutic and can really help to alleviate anxiety.

Talk to a supportive friend or family member. Sometimes when anxiety takes over it becomes really easy to isolate ourselves and withdraw from our friends and family. However, these are the people we need to embrace and learn to rely on when we need help. Talk to a friend about how you're feeling and let them be there for you. My mom has been my biggest supporter during the hard times and even when I'm not sure what I want to say, giving her a call always makes me feel better.

Do something JUST for you. No matter what it is, do at least one thing during the day strictly to make you happy. Personally, I like to put make up on and pick out some jewelry to wear for the day. It helps me to feel confident (for myself!) and makes each day just a little better.

Write down one happy thought per day. This is something that has been so useful for me. Each night before I go to sleep, I jot down one thing that happened throughout the day that made me happy. No matter how bad a day may seem,  there is ALWAYS something I can write down. Remember to find the happiness in each and every day, even if sometimes it's harder to find.

Remember this feeling WILL PASS! No matter how anxious or stressed you feel at any moment in time, remember this feeling will pass. Think back to the last time you were really anxious- you got through it then and you can get through it now. Take a few deep breaths and keep in mind that although your feelings are valid, they are also temporary.

Stress, anxiety, and other negative feelings can be extremely crippling. They take over and it seems impossible to pick yourself back up again. However, these feelings can be fought and self care during the bad times, no matter how hard it seems, is so important. Try one (or all!) of these tips to fight your stress and enjoy each day that much more!

Women's HERstory Month

Guess what March is? Women's HERstory month!! An entire month dedicated to recognizing why women are so awesome (at least that's how I perceive it). As the women's center, we are expected to celebrate this month, and that we shall. All throughout March, individual clubs and organizations are sponsoring and collaborating on events focused on women's issues, feminism, and more. There are so many awesome programs and initiatives that are planned, and we can't wait for you all to see what we have in store. Just to highlight a few:

• Tonight at 10pm in Friend's Hall is the official Kick-off event for the month featuring spoken word artist Suzi Q a dynamic peformer who's worked alongside many renowned artists such as Gil Scott Heron, Les Nubians, Dead Prez, The Flobots, Rev. Run, Jean Grae, Talib Kweli. 
• We Can ALL Do It on Thursday March 6th from 12-2pm in the Student Center. A photo shoot that will include all different kinds of women and “how we can all be the “Rosie Riveter” of our time” and make our own choice to define our own form of feminism.
• We Can't Do What?! on Thursday March 13th at 1pm in B224, this program will feature Law & Society professor Mihaela Serban and a discussion on the different laws that affect women’s freedoms locally as well as nationwide. 
• Women's Appreciation Banquet on March 27th from 12:30-2pm in Alumni Lounges this event is in its 7th year running; its purpose is to recognize the efforts and continued impact distinguished faculty and staff members have had on the college all of which are nominated by Ramapo individuals.

If you want to find out about the happenings of Women's HERstory month, stop by our office in C220 for more information! Look for this image around campus and you'll find the calendar of events for the month!!!

Respect Yourself

Respect...
What does that mean to you? What does it mean to those around you? Most importantly how much respect do you demand from others and what boundaries do you set for yourself to make people respect those boundaries and therefore respect you? 

Whether it is an romantic relationship, a friendship , or a relationship with your family members, it is essential for you to set standards for yourself, which will lead others to respect you and will allow others to know your meaning in life and what you are about.

In recent years, many young females are faced with the difficulty of receiving respect and/or putting out the message that respect themselves. With the misleading and derogatory images of women that are put out there due to the various media representation, young females are constantly fighting with the battle of respecting themselves and fitting in. We see in TV shows and movies that women are having problems getting the proper respect that they need and that they struggle with finding themselves and their worth. The scary part of this, is that it is not just in TV and Movies, females in our surrounding communities are facing these same battles. The questions is: Who is helping these young girls?

I am excited that tomorrow March 4, 2014, my organization will be hosting a respect yourself program with teenage girls from Paterson, NJ. It saddens me that most of them are pursuing relationships, but still lack the mentoring necessary to make the right decisions in life. I am hoping that this program will allow them to set standards for themselves and allow them to leave with a clearer mindset of what they want out of life and how they want others to treat them. I know that I can not help the entire female population, but I am hoping that I can start somewhere and impact as many lives as I can, and this program is the first step.