Founded in 1974, the Women’s Center was established to:
Dismantle, from a feminist perspective, all forms of oppression, including but not limited to those based on ability, age, class, ethnicity, gender, race, and sexual orientation.
Advocate for an equitable environment free from violence and harassment based on gender, race, and sexual orientation.
Create an anti-racist, non-sexist, queer-affirmative space where all people can feel valued and safe.
Facilitate and strengthen connections among people across lines of difference through programming and educational campaigns.
Integrate an appreciation of Women's Gender and Multicultural Studies across the disciplines.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

A Blast From the Past????

I have had interesting conversations with people, but one conversation I had last week has been bothering me for a while now. The conversation has really made me reevaluate the things that I thought I knew about this person. It started with a conversation on wedding dresses, and I said as a side note, “do you realize that less and less people are getting married nowadays…” with that one question the conversation ended up with some “blast from the past mentally”. She says to me, “that it depends on the couple on whether they will treasure marriage or not.” I thought she was going to stop the topic right then and there, and I agreed with her on that statement.

Then she went on saying, “women has to be the one to compromise, and they will always be inferior to men.” In utter disbelief, I was stunned and sat there not knowing what to say and all that came out of my mouth is: “DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT???????” I thought I knew this person really well, I mean I grew up with her, but to think that all these years she thought of women as inferior, until today, just completely blows my mind. Then she says to me, “yes! I really don’t think that women will become equal with men, and they are the one who has to compromise”. I said to her, “compromise is not a one way street, if one compromises then the other should too, men can compromise in a relationship too you know!”

I was trying to figure out why she would say something like that, since when we were younger she was always the one who was independent and didn’t want to be a stay at home mom. Her reply eventually made me end the conversation because I didn’t know what else to say after she said to me, “yeah! They can compromise, but it usually does not work that way, the women has to be able to compromise more than men, and that’s why independent women will never marry because they have so much high expectations. Like I said, women will never be equal with men, and as I have learned, when a woman marries to a man, that’s her family now, and her family becomes her priority. I mean, my parents and siblings are still family too. But if I were to choose between my family and my son and boyfriend, I will choose my son and boyfriend.” I was completely silent and was sitting still on my chair and the conversation ended with, it was only her opinion and she’s saying what she believes in.

Until now I still do not know how to react about what I just heard. I mean, there is nothing wrong with having an opinion; I was just completely surprised by her reaction. There is absolutely nothing wrong with marriage, or how she wants to be a house wife, the thing that bothered me the most is when she believes that women are “supposed to be” inferior to men and they are the one who are supposed to compromise. I never thought in the 21st century I would hear a 25-year-old amazing woman tell me this.

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