The Hard Truth: Being Single in a Married World

     My inner feminist celebrated the legalization of yet another state to allow same-sex marriage —congrats Illinois! With the recent culmination of landmark rulings for the gay-rights movement, in which public support has continued to grow, feminists and queer-identified individuals rejoiced. But we forgot to acknowledge one very important issue at large: the average single peoples’ struggle in a "married world." 

     With gay activists continuing to fight for the right to marry, and heterosexuals being encouraged to embrace their right to marry, the rights of individuals who choose to remain single, whether gay or straight, are not acknowledged. Those who choose to be single receive little to no benefits in the workplace and are often socially frowned upon, even made invisible by society. The role of the singles population is hardly ever approved or recognized in a social context.

     An unequal expectation exists for men and women when it comes to marriage. The pressure to marry is particularly strong for women, and those who are not married by a certain age are defamed and slandered by society. Women who are not married—even ones with successful careers—begin to demean themselves because they feel as if they are not fulfilling society’s expectations. While women feel as if they are letting someone down by not marrying, men are hardly given any trouble about being single. Men are encouraged to keep pursuing their careers while women are encouraged to assimilate into the heterosexist and heteronormative culture by being told to quit their jobs and settle down to marry and start a family. Now, this should not sit well with feminist.

     Some people would highly disagree with single peoples’ decision to defy the social order of how things should be in society in regards to marriage, but others might deem marriage an important component in maintaining a functioning world where men and women should follow the social norm (and expectation) of getting married. Regardless, the idea that the singles’ population would threaten the importance of marriage as an institutionalized norm is completely ridiculous. In fact, being that the situation for singles is almost completely identical to that of queer individuals being "othered," the feminist movement should be a little more concerned and involved with the issue. Like gender, marriage is a social construct — let's challenge the cultural norm.