What's Going On At The Women's Center!

Hi All!

Quick blog about what we are doing, why we are so busy, and a context for what themes you may see in our blog this week! Come check us out at Ramapo College of New Jersey!

This week is Violence Awareness Week! There is a whole lot going on in and around the Women's Center that we would love to see you take part in. Today, the YWCA of Bergen County Rape Crisis Center is here displaying the Clothesline Project. The Clothesline Project (CLP) is a collection of shirts with statements about sexual assault and domestic violence hand made by survivors. It will be displayed outside by the arch from now until 4 pm (weather permitting.)

Manic Music Monday

After thinking about who/what I wanted to rant about, and searching the latest hot songs and bands, I discovered a group that took disrespect to another level: Cobra Starship. Many of you may know their latest (and only?) hit "Good Girls Go Bad" which isn't a horrible song and, I'll admit, is kind of catchy. But upon researching the rest of their music, I discovered some pretty absurd songs. If you thought Katy Perry's "I kissed a girl" was a major fail, then you should check out Cobra Starship's rendition, entitled "I Kissed a Boy." No, I'm not joking. Here's a sample of the lyrics:

"Me and my bros that’s how we roll, you never know how far we’ll go
I’ll grab some junk that I don’t own
And plant one right on him
You’re only here for our amusement

I kissed a boy and they liked it
Got all the honeys in the club excited
I kissed a boy just to start shit
That homeboy was not about it"

The lyrics of this song are deeply offensive to the queer community (and anyone with a moral conscience). In Katy Perry's song, she talks about how kissing a girl is experimental and makes bisexuality and non-heterosexual relationships seem taboo. This song, however, takes this concept to an entirely different level of offensiveness. It makes homosexuality seem like something that can be toyed with, used to excite the opposite sex, and to start fights. Essentially, what this song is doing is using homosexuality as a means of comedic relief and that is not something that should be promoted. And the whole double standard that two girls kissing is hot and two guys kissing is not...NEVER OKAY! This song also gives its listeners, especially males, the idea that two men kissing is abnormal and should only happen when trying to get a rise out of someone or make someone uncomfortable. Well done, Cobra Starship. You have once again proven that the extent of your musical talent is doing parodies of songs that are offensive to begin with and taking them to a completely different level of ridiculousness. Congratulations.

<3

'Save the Boobs'

Well my friends, they've finally done it! They've figured out how to get the public (and men!) involved in raising awareness about breast cancer...drum roll please.

Check it out: http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/health/2009/09/24/cho.save.boobs.cnn?iref=videosearch

AH-HA! A sexist, degrading commercial! I can't believe we never thought of this before.


Silly me, but I thought the simple facts that...

1. Breast Cancer is the MOST COMMON form of cancer in women.*

2. In 2005, 186,467 women and 1,764 men were diagnosed with breast cancer.*

3. In 2005, 41,116 women and 375 men died from breast cancer.*

...would be enough of a motivator to get people involved in fighting for a cure.


And, in regards to the news anchor's comment about people not liking the pamphlets because there is an older woman on the front cover, I've got the perfect solution...CHANGE THE FRONT COVER.

*All statistics and further information can be found here:
http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/breast/statistics/

Glee: Decide for Yourself

Glee: decide for yourself.

Glee, the new primetime sitcom on FOX, is doing great rating-wise but has sparked some controversy among feminists and activists alike. The show revolves around an over-the-top high school in the mid west, specifically the activities of the newly formed Glee Club. The show includes witty, cheesy dialogue, large dance numbers, great singing, and an eclectic group of high school stereotypes.

It’s the stereotypes that need to be examined in this case. The show originally introduces you to each of these seemingly one-dimensional stereotypical characters that can indeed be seen as offensive. The roster is as follows: Kurt the flamboyant gay character obsessed with fashion, Mercedes the sassy big African-American girl with huge pipes, and Tina the almost completely silent Asian-American Goth girl.

While the idea of these stereotypes doesn’t seem too offensive, the actions and lines that they each have seem to be a bit controversial. In the second episode of the season “Showmance” Tina said next to nothing and Mercedes sang the lead in their rendition of “Goldigger” and, when frustrated with having small roles within the club, threatened to “cut” someone.

Dabble or Babble?

Recently, Megan Fox revealed to Rolling Stone in an interview that she used to cut herself. She didn’t want to talk about it because she doesn’t consider herself a cutter. That’s fine, I’m not judging or labeling.My (and many other feminists’) issue is when she shrugged it off by saying, “Girls go through different phases when they’re growing up, when they’re miserable and do different things, whether it’s an eating disorder or they dabble in cutting."
Not all girls (and not only girls!) go through said miserable “phases.”To call it a phase is normalizing the issue. She is making it seem as though cutting or eating disorders are something people grow out of. It’s not like puberty. These are serious issues not to be taken lightly. To generalize it and make it seem as though it’s a normal part of life and everyone goes through something like that is not ok. She defends her position by stating,"If I did talk about it, I’d be taking on a role-model status, and I’d have to choose my words very carefully, and I’d have to make sure I reveal it in a specific way, and I don’t want to do it," she said.
Umm…you are already of role-model status. You should have chosen your words carefully in the answers/comments that you just made.
Maybe Megan Fox needs help coping with this problem (regardless if it was just a “phase” she grew out of), because clearly she does not recognize it as a problem. I would recommend she, and anyone else struggling with cutting, look into “To Write Love on Her Arms” www.twloha.com.
The Women’s Center also offers Body Image Discussion Groups, and hosts Eating Disorder Awareness Week in the Spring.

Stay Away from My Body, Tyra Banks!

Earlier this week I caught a episode of the Tyra Show that honestly, just horrified me. The episode, called Does Size Matter: Women's Edition, confronted this "important" question in regards to women's butts and boobs under the guise of building positive body image. In the first half of the show Tyra had five women line up in a series of stalls that were blocked off both on top and on bottom so that the only part of these women that could be seen were their butts.

Tyra then had a panel of five men, sitting just off to the side, comment on the women's butts one at a time.

Some of the comments made were positive - for instance woman number one was told that she had a nice butt because she was "standing there like an action hero" and it was "even all out."

Some of them were mean - like when woman number four was told that she needs to "do a couple of squats because [...] [her booty] has some spread to it" but he didn't like the way it was "going up into her back."

Some were creepy - like when woman number two was complemented on the space between her upper thighs legs which he called a "gap" and was told to "open that up" when she reflexively pressed her legs together more.

Finally, some of them were just plain weird - like when number five was told that her booty was a "Mufasa ass" (which I gather is a good thing?) The man who coined the term claimed to have used it because she had a "very healthy booty, that is a booty that says I am booty hear me roar." He later added that he knows several guys who would like to "roar" with her booty.

Now I know Tyra isn't considered a paragon of feminist thought, good taste, or even sanity; which is why I debated for a long while as to whether or not I should even write about this, but I still think something has to be said. Tyra has been putting herself out there for awhile now as an advocate for body acceptance and self esteem in women and girls. She even tried to frame this exercise as something that would be positive to these women's body image - claiming that it would help women to understand once and for all what men want - is it boobs, booties, or the "skinny minnie bodies" that the media tries to sell us. Tyra's heart may have been in the right place, but her message is all wrong. Here's why...

Manic (Maniac) Music Monday

Kanye West…need I really say more.

I really don’t care for Taylor Swift, but she did not deserve to be embarrassed on national television. There has been a lot of speculation about why Kanye did what he did. He can “blame it on the ahahahahalcohol” all he wants, but it has got to go deeper than that. I have heard the racist arguments and the sexist arguments. I’ll begin with the latter.

My coworker explained to me that if a white man had won the award over a black man, Kanye would not have defended him because he only feels the need to speak on behalf of women. As if to say women could not possibly speak for them selves. I think that this is an extremely valid point, but it’s not entirely plausible. I believe Kanye probably would have spoken up if some pop prince, Aaron Carter maybe, has won best video over Jay-Z.

Kanye is clearly not the beacon of feminist ideals, but I really feel as though the race card played a larger role in his outburst. His behavior reminded me of Ludacris’ character in the movie Crash. If you haven’t seen the movie, you should. It has some of the most complex commentary on “race” relations. Ludacris was the “everyone and everything is against me so why should I even try to be a law abiding citizen” character. There are plenty of things in this world that are institutionally oppressive to people of color, but that probably doesn’t include the VMA award for best female video. It’s not always a conspiracy Kanye, especially when Beyonce went on to win the biggest award of the night.

In the words of our beloved president, what a jackass.

We need a fucking revolution.

Defining rape.

I’ve had a revelation.

 

I don’t care what the law has to say about rape.

 

Yes. I understand why need to have laws. I understand that in order to punish individuals who break the laws, you have to have a pretty set definition of what has been broken and evidence to support it was. But in a society where the US Justice Department says that only 26% of rapes are reported to the police (and many advocacy agencies would say the number is lower than that) why is the legal definition of sexual assault the default definition we use when educating about rape?

 

Legally defining rape can be problematic. Sexual assault, often referred to as rape, is legally defined differently in each state. In New Jersey, the law defines sexual assault as "the penetration, no matter how slight, in which physical force or coercion is used or in which the victim is physically or mentally incapacitated". Penetration is defined as "vaginal intercourse, cunnilingus, fellatio or anal intercourse between persons or the insertion of a hand, finger or other object into the anus or vagina by either the actor or upon the actor's instruction" (NJSA 2C:14-1).

 

This definition is not universal, nor is it complete. In terms of my advocacy and work with survivors of sexual assault, I use an entirely different definition. If someone feels as though they were sexually assaulted, then they were. As simple as that. I’m never going to tell anyone who believes that they might have been sexually assaulted that they weren’t. In the generation of CSI and Law & Order watchers, people often feel as though it’s their duty to examine the evidence and determine for themselves if someone else’s rape occurred by using the criteria set out by the law. Without even realizing it, people become victim blamers rather than support systems. I have witnessed and heard more times than I would like about someone who went to a friend/family member/partner and confided that they had been sexually assaulted only to be interrogated. Well did you say no? Did you push them away? Why haven’t you gone to the police? WHY DOES THAT MATTER? If you feel as though something happened to you, and it wasn’t okay, then it ISN’T okay! Our strict definition of rape often leaves survivors feeling as though what happened to them wasn’t legitimate, and therefore they have no justification for their feelings. There is no checklist you need to complete to have been raped. It may not fit neatly into the little box the law makes for what is a “real” rape, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t real to you.

 

I’m not a lawyer. I’m not a police officer. I understand their roles in the reporting process of gathering evidence and proving guilt. But 74% of survivors aren’t going to them. They aren’t asking for evidence to be collected, they aren’t asking for their rapist to be prosecuted legally. If they’re telling anyone, they’re telling a friend, a relative, a partner. They’re telling someone they trust. And most times, they’re not telling you to investigate and ‘prove’ it or tell them your opinion on what did or did not happen to their bodies based on what our laws state. They’re asking for your support.  Give it to them.  

Whoops, blog fail!

Hi All,

It's been a little crazy here in Ramapo-world, and we let our blog lapse a bit. And we are sorry. But we will fix it.... now. Back to our regularly scheduled blogging!

I love Beyonce but...

This may seem completely out there, but I’m a gay man who happens love Beyonce. Quite the mind blower, no? Recently I’ve been listening to Beyonce’s song “Ego” and while I think the song is rather catchy, and the music video is fantastic, I had my own dealings with a major ego a few nights ago, and will have to disagree with Beyonce’s apparent attraction to men with big egos.
A few nights ago a friend and I met a man in the elevator to our building. We had a conversation with him as we rose the six flights of stairs and then simply said goodbye once our floor was reached (he was continuing to the 7th).
Later that night I accompanied the same friend as well as a group outside for a cigarette. In the middle of their smoking, the boy we met on the elevator came outside so we naturally went over to say hello. The conversation went like this:

Me: “Hi how are you?”
Ego Boy: “Oh, I’m straight.”

Maybe this individual had slightly skewed hearing, but I didn’t recall asking him his sexual orientation, simply how he was. Needless to say, I was a little offended over the fact that this man assumed I was coming on to him simply because I was gay. It begged the question; does he also assume that every heterosexual woman is trying to come on to him?
Some of the most frustrating heterosexism for me to deal with is the assumption that simply because an individual identifies themselves as anything other than heterosexual, that they are going to come on to those who are straight. Don’t flatter yourself. Individuals (queer or otherwise) have standards of their own which they answer to. Sexual orientation is not all that makes an individual, or all that makes personal taste so please everyone think before you make assumptions about people.

You know what happens when you assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME! (cheesy but completely true.)

Think about it.
Corey

It's been a while...

The Ramapo college year has officially begun and the Women's Center is busy planning for all of our Fall 2009 events and our blogging has fallen to the way-side just a little.

However, we will be back on Tuesday, September 8th with some brand new bloggers who all have some super awesome opinions, so make sure to check back then!

Thanks for following us and enjoy the long weekend! :)