World AIDS Day comes to Ramapo College!

World AIDS day is observed every year n December 1st. The World Health Organization established World AIDS Day in 1988. World AIDS Day provides governments, national AIDS programs, faith organizations, community organizations, and individuals with an opportunity to raise awareness and focus attention on the global AIDS epidemic.

At Ramapo College, we are taking it a step further and organizing events and programs over the span of 3 days to commemorate World AIDS day.

Tuesday, December 1st the Women's Center and Ramashows will co-sponsor the World AIDS day Benefit Concert. Student musicians will open for Jazz musician Thos Shipley. All proceeds go to "Braking the Cycle" which is a bike-a-thon to benefit HIV/AIDS programs. The concert will take place at the Sharp Theatre in the Berrie Center. Doors open at 7:30pm and the show begins at 8:00pm. $5 for students, $8 for faculty/staff/off-campus audience members.

Wednesday, December 2nd at 5:00pm in Friend's Hall is "A Boy, A Girl, A Virus." Shawn and Gwenn are married. He has HIV, she does not, and they're keeping it that way. The married couple uses their relationship as a platform for their presentation and brings humor into the discussion on sexual health, safe sex, and getting tested.

Thursday, December 3rd will be the closing ceremony and reflection. Professor Kim Lorber will facilitate a discussion at 6:00pm in Friend's Hall to bring the week's events to a close, followed by the folding of the AIDS quilt.

Additionally, all three days the AIDS quilt will be displayed in Friend's Hall from 10am- 8pm. This powerful exhibit features multiple panels of the AIDS quilt, which are made by the loved one of individuals who have lost their lives due to AIDS and AIDS related illnesses.

So come out to these events and witness the tremendous impact that AIDS has in our world. Hopefully it will inspire you to act up against AIDS, and realize how it affects all demographics of people.

Hard Work Pays Off

I'm dedicating my blog post today to Zaneta, our QPSC here at the Women's Center, and all the others who have fought hard in the past week to make major changes on our campus for the queer community, and to make our campus feel safe for everyone. Not that these individuals aren't always working hard to improve the community but this past week has made me feel especially proud to be a part of such a wonderful organization. There was a recent incident on our campus in which two male students, who later identified as heterosexual, were targeted for holding hands with one another while walking through campus late on a Thursday night. After being called "faggots" repeatedly, the incident escalated from verbal to physical, resulting in the two students being punched in the face by the group who had been harassing them. After a few students heard what had happened and what had caused the incident, the word quickly spread and many of our students became angry. The administration had their hands tied for several reasons but after getting tired of waiting for something to be done, Zaneta and others decided to take matters into their own hands. On Wednesday, November 18th, the Women's Center celebrated Trans-Remembrance Day and invited 3 transgendered speakers to our campus to tell us about the lives that they lead, how being straight, transgendered males impacts the way they are treated, and to answer questions from our audience. After the event, nearly 100 students marched to observe Trans-Remembrance and to fight for the administration to send a campus-wide e-mail regarding the incident that had occurred the week prior. After a beautiful and very powerful march, the community got what it had so deservingly earned. Our college's President sent a brief e-mail on Friday afternoon explaining what had happened. An excerpt from this message reads :

"As President I deplore this hateful homophobic behavior and affirm that it will not be tolerated. No member of the College should have to fear that his or her personal characteristics or attributes will lead to being subject to any kind of abuse. Anyone found perpetrating such behavior can expect to be dealt with swiftly and severely and I ask anyone with knowledge of this particular incident to come forward if they have not done so."

To show further support, the President and both of the Associate Vice Presidents of Student Affairs attended our weekly Pride meeting yesterday and addressed the incident and what we can do on our campus to ensure that things like that do not go unnoticed or unreported to the administration.

So again, great work to all involved...you deserve to be praised for all of the amazing work that is done here on campus!

<3

Manic Music Monday! Big Girl (You are Beautiful)

Mika is a British pop singer who is known for his extremely high singing and unique performances. In his first album “Life in Cartoon Motion” Mika performed a song called Big Girl (You Are Beautiful), which is one of my favorites on the album.
In this song, Mika celebrates the women in the world who are not stick-thin. He describes how some men are simply not “man enough” to love a bigger girl, even though he sees them as the most beautiful of them all. Some of my favorite lyrics from the song are:
“Walks into the room
Feels like a big balloon
I said, ‘Hey girls, you are beautiful’
Diet Coke and a pizza please
Diet Coke I’m on my knees screaming,
‘Big girl, you are beautiful!’”

I enjoy this because it captures how bigger people may originally feel, and may originally act in public, and Mika is trying to empower these people to be proud and realize the true beauty they possess. Mika also celebrates how beautiful curves are, and how bigger women need bigger men, which doesn’t pertain to the man’s size, but instead that the men need to be strong enough in themselves to see the beauty in others.

Here’s the video! It’s feel good and fun and full of beautiful women dancing and having a great time. I think the WC should totally organize our own version of this. We’ll all dress up fun and pretty and dance around the arch.

Think about it.
Corey

Yeah I'll say it...

I hate Twilight. I know it has been posted about a million times before by writers who articulate their views way better than mine, but with all the hype about the New Moon movie premiere, I still feel the need to talk about it. I am mid-way through reading the 3rd book in the Twilight series. I must admit my bias: I started reading them so I could have a more firm argument as to why I hate them so much. Even from what I knew about the series before reading it, I had decided that Edward Cullen wasn't the super romantic icon he is thought to be. In fact, he's kind of an asshole.

The book isn't real. And I get it, he's a vampire, so there are probably some factors that would separate their relationship from that of a standard couple. But there are some real life risk factors and blatant abuses going on in these books that is all disguised under the mask of 'love and protection'. I don't want to go on an entire rant, but I want to spend a few minutes on Edward. 

So like I said... he's an asshole. Let's all remind ourselves of the fact that all the danger that Bella is in is directly related to her relationship with Edward! So he watches her sleep, kidnaps her, has his sister watch her every move while he isn't around because he needs to protect her, but the threats he needs to protect her from are caused by him! An obvious argument is that well, he's a vampire, and she loves him and she chose it so he is just being nice protecting her. To make this situation a little more real life, let's substitute vampire for another dangerous activity. 

Say Bella was dating someone, and then found out they were a gang member. She loves him, so she doesn't want to leave, but she is in all sorts of danger being around him. When he 'protects' her from the rival gang members by following her, watching her sleep and hiding information that could get her killed from her, does that make him an amazing romantic? When he kidnaps her to keep her away from her friendship with another rival gang member (Jacob) is that sweet and ideal? If this situation was real, anyone looking at it would have harsh words for Bella for staying (I don't say this because I agree they should, but because our society always blames women in domestic violence situations for staying) and would not tout the gang member as a romantic super hero. So how is it that all these behaviors in Edward are seen as romantic? I see them as controlling, manipulating and scary. 

I truly worry about the impression this leaves on the young girls who read this book. I think back to 12 year old me and try to think about how different it would be if the male romantic characters I grew up with were more like Edward. Now I definitely didn't have the best male role models anyway... I liked Disney. Men in Disney movies are mainly just around to save you when you fuck up. But at least I knew I had the OPPORTUNITY to fuck up without thinking that someone who I love should intervene/kidnap me/make all my decisions for me so I would be safe. Not to mention the whole "I can't live without you" "Dying is worth it if I can be with you" "I'll just go to Italy and kill myself if I lost you" mentality it instills in an already at risk youth, with suicide rates as they are in this country. 

So again, Twilight... I hate you. 

Feminists United - Pay Equity Bake Sale!

The Feminists United club, here at Ramapo, employed some controversial pricing methods to their bake sale treats last Thursday, November 12th, in order to create a metaphor for the pay gap that exists in America today.

The flyers at the cookie, brownie, and cake covered table exclaimed “Pay for Your Privilege” and contained a pricing scale underneath that requested white males pay $1.00 for their treat of choice, while white females only paid $.76, men of color $.68, and women of color just $.62. This pricing represents 2005 government statistics that look into pay discrepancies that exist in the American workforce, simply based on a person’s gender and ethnicity; the statistics used were controlled for vacation time, education level, skill level and so on so that the only notable differences were gender and ethnicity.

Along with popular treats like brownies from catering services and cookie cake, members of Feminists United dispensed knowledge about the pay gap to their patrons through conversations and flyers that members had made up detailing statistics about the pay gap and actions that students and faculty could take to aid in the fight for fair pay.

Something interesting came to light about halfway through the bake sale when Zaneta Rago, Queer Peer Services Coordinator for the Women’s Center, stopped by the table with some statistics that showed how the pay-gap affected the Queer Community differently. While she had found that lesbian women actually make about the same as straight white males do, a new category had to be added onto the flyer in pen: gay men would be charged just $.77 for their treats, since statistics show they make just $.77, on average, to a straight man’s dollar.

The sale wound up staying open almost an hour later than members had originally planned; none of the members wanted to stop handing off baked goods and information. Feminists United Treasurer Becky Garrabrant finally helped to wrap the event up around four, stating that she hoped the event would “become a Feminists United tradition” in the semesters yet to come.

Wife Swap

Check this out:

I know it happened a few years ago, but I first heard about it today in my media ethics class.

http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/wife-swap-husband-sues-show-for-sending-family-gay-man-1006180.php

I have issues with "Wife Swap" to begin with, but this is ridiculous. First of all, why does it have to be the wife? Second of all, why -in most cases- does it have to be a family with a mom and a dad?
And in this case, why would you sue the show for swapping your wife with a gay man?? If it says either male or female in the contract, why is it called wife swap??

uh-Mazing Music Monday

Punk music played a huge role in empowering women and reviving the feminist movement. I just wanted to take this moment to mention Bikini Kill and their kick-ass song "Rebel Girl"



I hope their awesome music brightens up your day!

We Need a Fucking Revolution

Sorry Bro We Can't Hold Hands

On Thursday in the first quad of the Village, a very disturbing crime was allegedly committed against two male students by two other male students. As the story goes, two friends who did not identify as homosexuals happened to be holding hands. As they strolled through the quads they passed a group of men and one man screamed out “faggot” and then followed up with more homophobic slurs. Eventually words were exchanged between both parties and the outcome was the two men holding hands being punched in the face. Does this bother anyone but me?

It really angers me that we live in a society where this kind of ignorance is tolerated. Why do we feel that difference deserve to be made fun of? Furthermore, who gives us the right to decide that when we are angry about those who are different, we are allowed to act violently towards them? This is America, “Land of the Free”. Yet, so many instances like the hate crime on Thursday night disagree with the moral decree this country’s forefathers declared hundreds of years ago.

What I find even more interesting is that all of this behavior is not inherent, but is derived from how men are socialized under this oppressive patriarchal system. As men we are conditioned to live within the confines of a gender box which only allows us to operate under specific codes of masculine behavior. Whenever we step outside this box to express America’s notion of “land of the free’, we are scrutinized harshly, told our behavior is either “soft” or “feminine” and are either made of fun until we go back in this box or ostracized for refusing to do. Well, I am tired of this and feel that we as straight allies of the queer community have to be better at helping to deconstruct these walls that stand in the way of “GENDER” freedom. You can do this by stepping up when you notice someone is being discriminated against. This is not just limited to sexual orientation and includes discrimination against someone based on race, age, class, and physical disabilities. "RAMAPO HAS NO PLACE FOR HATE. Show your support Wednesday 11/18 in J.Lee's. A Night OUT: Trans Remembrance event starts at 8:30pm. There will be a Peace Rally/March which will leave from J. Lee's at 10pm.

To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everthing! Julie Newmar

This week I went out and bought my own DVD of “To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar” the longwinded title of a movie about three sassy drag queens from New York City. Now I’d heard a couple things about this film, and I was expecting the hilarity and sass but what I was more surprised about was the heart that was a major part in the movie. Even more surprisingly is how beautiful the three main stars were as their drag personas, since they’re not extremely attractive men to begin with; the movie stars Wesley Snipes, John Leguizamo, and the late Patrick Swayze as Noxeema Jackson, Chi Chi Rodriguez, and Vida Boheme, respectfully.
Homophobia is obviously a theme in the film. The main plot revolves around the three stars’ road trip from New York City to Las Vegas for the National Drag Queen of the Year contest. Homophobia is first combated when the “girls” attempt to take a pit stop in Vida’s hometown on the way to Vegas. When Vida’s mother steps out of the house and sees her, she instantly slams the door, signifying how she obviously disowned her due to her identification. Furthermore, the girls live in fear in their trip that they will run into a person or group of people who will realize who they truly are and would most likely act poorly out of ignorance and fear. They eventually do run into a police officer who attempts to sexually assault Vida. When he realizes that she is not who he though she was, he ends up tripping backwards and falling out of conciseness. When he wakes up he commences in a search to find the queens in the local areas. He makes the list of “Places for Homo’s” which reads as follows:
-flower shops
-ballet schools
-flight attendants’ lounges
-restaurants for brunch
-antique shops
A more unexpected theme in the movie would be domestic abuse. One of the local townspeople Carol Ann (played by Stockard Channing) lives in an abusive home environment due to her husband Virgil. In a constant state of terror, Virgil often accuses her of “arguing” with him and will also threaten to physically attack her. Incidentally, the altercations also do get physical, but are eventually put to a stop by Vida (which destroys the misconception that Drag Queens cannot stick up for themselves).
Ultimately, the movie sends the message of personal beauty and acceptance for all. Female characters are given glamorous makeovers, an interracial couple gets together, the townspeople eventually learn the truth about the girls and love them anyway, and the abusive relationship ends with Carol Ann taking the power she lost back and living independently. Go see it! Plus, Patrick Swayze and Wesley Snipes in drag is a recipe for success even if the movie didn’t send great messages.

Think about it.

TWLOHA

Tomorrow, November 13th, is "To Write Love on Her Arms Day."

"To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery."

Taken from http://www.twloha.com/vision/

I encourage everyone to participate in this very significant event. A simple gesture can inspire those around you to seek help so they can begin to heal. Spread love.

"The vision is the possibility that your best days are ahead. The vision is the possibility that we're more loved than we'll ever know. The vision is hope, and hope is real. You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story."

We need a fucking revolution

Rihanna Speaks Out...

"It was confusing for me. I was still attached by love. But I wasn't thinking about ... the reality of the situation. You start lying to yourself. ... This is a memory you don't want to have ever again. ... The physical wounds go away, you put it in the back of your head and you start lying to yourself subconsciously." This past Friday, pop icon Rihanna was featured on ABC's 20/20 with Diane Sawyer. That same night, Chris Brown sat down to do an interview with Sway, an MC from MTV. While this was the first time Rihanna publicly addressed what had happened between her and Chris Brown in February of 2009, this was the latest of many public appearances by Brown regarding what he had done. Although this was the first time she spoke openly, she shed a lot more light about the situation than Chris Brown did in any of his numerous interviews. While I feel as though her interview gave much insight as to the events that led up to this instance and the dynamics of both of their pasts in regards to domestic violence, I can see where the many unsettling reviews about her interview are coming from.

Rihanna goes into a fair amount of detail about the physical part of what happened between the two of them on February 8, 2009 but there are a few things about that conversation that are unsettling to me. When Diane Sawyer asks her, "had he done it before?" her immediate response is "No." However, Sawyer pointed out that there had been two other instances brought to their attention, one in which Brown smashed the windshield of her S.U.V and another in which he "repeatedly shoved her into a wall" during an argument. Her response, in a rather defensive tone, was, "No, he didn't repeatedly shove me into a wall...he shoved me into the wall...when I said it never happened, I've never bled, swelled up, black eye, bruised...it wasn't...it was not a fight." Several times during this interview she addresses the fact that one of her main reasons for finally opening up about what happened is so that she is not responsible for any other young girls being attacked and she wants to let them know that what they are feeling should not be the reasons they stay with an abusive partner. But in this part of the interview, she absolutely defends Chris Brown's previous actions and explains that these actions shouldn't be considered domestic abuse. I can see how unsettling this can be to both survivors of and advocates against domestic and intimate violence.

Another main part of this interview that bothers me is, while I respect the fact that she does not want the focus of the interview to be around bashing Brown, rather than empowering survivors to come forward, she doesn't really show any emotion about nor does she address the statements Chris Brown has made which, in my opinion, have been rather disrespectful. In none of his interviews has he sincerely apologized publicly to Rihanna. Rather, even when asked who he is apologizing to when he apologizes in public, he admits that it is to his fans and his sponsors, not to "her." That's another thing that makes me SO angry..."SHE" has a name, Chris. It's Rihanna, NOT "her" or, my personal favorite, "Shorty." The woman you assaulted has a name and whether or not you want to dance around the fact that you actually committed the crime or say that you "blacked out" and don't remember the events of that night, I feel like the least you can do is refer to her by her name.

The last part of the interview gave me mixed feelings, not necessarily in a bad way though. Rihanna states, "I am strong. This happened to me. I didn't cause this. I didn't do it. This happened to me, and it can happen to anybody. And I'm glad it happened to me, 'cause now I can help young girls who are going through it. Don't react off of love. Eff love. Come out of the situation and look at it third-person and for what it really is and then make a decision, because love is so blind." While I understand what she meant by "I'm glad it happened to me," I think this could have been phrased differently, as not to be taken the wrong way. But on another note, "EFF LOVE!"

<3

Girl Proud of 911 Call for Gang Rape

Check it out,
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/crime/2009/11/07/simon.richmond.rape.911.cnn


First off...WTF?! This young woman's life was in danger, and 20+ people, who saw it happening in front of them, were worried about being called a snitch...about gang rape. WTF.

These crimes against women occur very frequently and are rarely reported, so it makes this problem practically invisible. Thankfully, in this particular instance, there was a woman there with enough common sense to call for help.

For more information about Sexual Assault, visit:
http://www.ywcabergencounty.org/programs/rape_crisis.html

"Weighing In" on the Corzine Attack Ads

Somewhere in the back of my mind I’ve always wondered what would happen if a male politician was attacked for his appearance, thus experiencing the kind of “politics” that many female representatives deal with on a daily basis. (See: Hillary Clinton’s wardrobe choices, “cankles,” hairstyle, and so on, just to give one example.) This wondering meant I was not as surprised as many were when the Corzine Ads started to run in my home state of NJ, warning us that Candidate Chris Christie likes to “throw his weight around.” What did surprise me, however, was just how much attention & outrage this snide little attack caused.

[View a clip here, from a segment on this issue that Good Morning America did.]

I had expected, maybe, a counter ad; maybe an editorial talking about dirty politics and sticking to the issues… what I hadn’t expected was for the news networks to call Chris Christie on and address this issue directly and call Corzine out for his fat-shaming. “Can you believe that you were being attacked, in a race for governor in the Garden State, on the basis of your weight?” An anchor on MSNBC actually said this. To Chris Christie, and let him response. Without any discussion about how obesity is a “disease” and “dangerous” and “maybe it should be a factor in the electorate’s decision –making process.” None of that… just honest outrage on behalf of this man. What the hell? No, seriously, what the hell.

[Watch the video here]

Where is this enlightened conversation when a woman running for office is being picked apart based on appearance?

I began to wonder: if a similar attack were levied upon a woman, what would the response be like? Soon, I realized, I already knew the answer. Rewind just a few months: does the name Regina Benjamin ring a bell? When Regina was appointed to the position of Attorney General by President Barack Obama, plenty of comments were made about her weight. Unlike Corzine’s comments, these remarks were made openly – there were no double entendres, people simply flat out said that they felt her weight would stop her from properly doing a job. Unlike Corzine’s comments, the news networks were actually supporting this argument and questioning this woman, who had amazing credentials, simply because of the way she looked.

Our New Jersey Governor: Chris Christie

November 3rd, 2009 marked Election Day and the beginning of a new order in New Jersey State law. Current Governor Jon Corzine was defeated by incumbent Chris Christie.

Personally, I could not even look at this decision as a “lesser of two evils” type of decision, which would have been a step-up. In my mind, it was: “which evil would you like to give this power to”, type of decision. Call me a pessimist, but New Jersey just seems to attract these corrupt politicians like a magnet.

There is a bright side. For once, in a long time, a politician was held accountable for his actions, or, in this case, his inaction. NJ residents were tired of having a governor that they felt could not and did not work for them. I think, this win was not so much of a “pro-Christie” win as it was an “anti-Corzine” win.

The sad news, there goes any hope for civil equality since Chris Christie has openly spoken about his position against equal marriage and a woman’s right to choose. But then again, Corzine had years to get this done and did he? In my mind, it does not make sense to promise people you will fight for them, and then ignore the situation for your entire term. Why should anyone believe in another campaign promise when you didn’t deliver the first time?

New Jersey is in for a long next couple of years and activists are going to have to make their voices heard more than ever. We are going to have to organize more, fight harder, and make it known that social injustices will not be tolerated or accepted.

I say…bring it.

A moment...

I would just like to take this opportunity to express my sadness about Maine and the temporary defeat of marriage equality. I’m simply disheartened…

It’s not over…we’ll keep fighting.

Please attend the Garden State Equality emergency meeting if you are able.

Wednesday, November 4th, all at 7:00 pm:
Regional ramp-ups across North Jersey
Free pizza and soda at every location


Jersey City: Temple Beth-El, 2419 Kennedy Boulevard
Co-presented by JCLGO, Hudson Diversity Action Council,
Hudson Pride Connections


Madison: Drew University, University Center, Room UC 107
Co-presented by Gay Activist Alliance in Morris County,
Drew University Alliance, FDU Straight and Gay Allies


Maplewood: Woman’s Club of Maplewood, 60 Woodland Road
Co-presented by Rainbow Families of Maplewood/South Orange


Montclair: Garden State Equality headquarters, 500 Bloomfield Avenue
Co-presented by BlueWave NJ, Montclair Democratic Committee, Blue Jersey,

Essex DFA, New Jersey Citizen Action, First Congregational Church,
Bnai Keshet, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Montclair


Newark: Liberation in Truth Unity Fellowship Church, 11 Halsey Street
Co-presented by Liberation in Truth UFC Social Justice Center,
Episcopal Diocese of Newark, ACLU-NJ, Newark Pride Alliance,
Newark Essex Pride Alliance


Ridgewood: Christ Church, 105 Cottage Place
Co-presented by Bergen PFLAG, Lutheran Office of Governmental Ministry,
Unitarian Universalist Legislative Ministry



Thursday, November 5th, all at 7:00 pm:

Regional ramp-ups across Central and South Jersey

Free pizza and soda at every location


Asbury Park: Trinity Church, 503 Asbury Avenue
Co-presented by Monmouth DFA, Ocean Grove United,
Jersey Shore Q Spot, Jersey Shore PFLAG


Collingswood: Garden State Equality office, 583 Haddon Avenue
Co-presented by PFLAG Philadelphia-South Jersey, Out in the Neighborhood,
Rutgers-Camden Outlaws, Rutgers-Camden Democrats, Equality Forum,
Lutheran Office of Governmental Ministry, William Way Community Center


Hillsborough: Temple Beth-El, 67 US Highway 206
Co-presented by DFA Somerset, HiTOPS, GLSEN Central New Jersey

New Brunswick: Christ Church, 5 Paterson Street
Co-presented by New Jersey Citizen Action,
Unity Fellowship Church New Brunswick,
Lutheran Office of Governmental Ministry


Westfield: Temple Emanu-El, 756 Broad Street
Co-presented by Temple Emanu-El,
Unitarian Universalist Legislative Ministry


Seriously, We need a fucking revolution.

Manic Music Monday

So... I don't listen to the radio very often. Yesterday made me remember why. 

I was in my car and got tired of the Owl City CD I had in, and switched on a top 40 radio station. It was at that point that I was subjected to David Guetta and Akon's song "Sexy Bitch"... or in the attempt at being politically correct radio edition, "Sexy Chick". If you haven't yet heard this song, count your blessings and call it a day. However if you feel the need to read the lyrics to get the context of this post, you can check them out here http://www.lyricsmania.com/lyrics/david_guetta_lyrics_89/one_love_lyrics_98008/sexy_bitch_lyrics_945817.html

There is one part of this song in particular that really gets me:

"She's nothing like a girl you've ever seen before
Nothing you can compare to your neighborhood hoe
I'm trying to find the words to describe this girl
Without being disrespectful"

The most disturbing part is that I think that is intended to be a COMPLIMENT (???) Apparently, this 'bitch' is soooo hot, that the only words you could think to describe her would be deragatory. This woman is so attractive, so beautiful, that I am compelled to say disrespectful things about her. In what world does that make sense??

Hey David Guetta & Akon, I have a shocking suggestion for you: if you feel the need to describe a beautiful woman, how about you say she's beautiful? Akon, I know you're capable, because you had another song called 'You're so beautiful." So therefore, you can find words to describe her without being disrespectful, you just choose not to use them. And that makes you a jerk.